A Day Covered by a Damp Blanket

Things have been going so well lately. So normal. So good. I felt so good yesterday and then I woke up today to a different story.

I thought I was fine until I tried to work out. I just couldn't get moving. I turned the treadmill off after a disappointing 5 minute, very slow pace, grabbed some cereal and went into the bedroom. I felt like lead. I felt so heavy. I felt so tired and I had no will to live through the day. Not suicidal. Just so down-hearted I didn't feel like I could face the day. I curled up into a ball and hid my face in the mattress snuggling under the covers. Sleep quickly came to me and for a few moments I was fine.

Mark came in after a little while to see if I was going to work.I couldn't even think of that. It was like a damp blanket had been laid upon me. One I couldn't seem to grasp to get off of me. It so handicapped my will I just rolled back up into a ball and shook my head at going to work. Mark left the room so that I could have some space.

I pretended that I was being held close in strong, safe arms as I drifted back into sleep.

I spent most of the day asleep and when I wasn't I laid or sat there staring off into space. It was hard to think. It was hard to function. And thankfully Mark was so patient.

By the end of the day I was feeling a bit better, getting back to feeling like myself again. So I was able to join my family for supper and have some time with the boys this evening while Mark went to KHOP for the Tuesday night prayer meeting.

At the conclusion of this day, I have a headache and a stomach-ache but my mood and emotional nature are evening out. Thank God. I hate these days and have known too many since Andrew died.

Definitely a blanket I do not want to keep or cling to.