Reflections on 2011

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve. Gosh is it hard to believe that 2011 is almost over. And yet, in some ways, it's like, thank God 2011 is almost over.

Tonight I put our youngest, Ryan, to bed. He got a Mr. Potatoehead and a Buzz Lightyear for Christmas. He insisted on having the two of them as he went to bed. He's gone to bed with Buzz every night since he got him. It's very cute. And I'm glad he likes it so well.

We read some stories and then Ryan, Buzz, Mr. Potatoehead and I did a little jig to some music that played from one of his buttons I pushed. I even had to kiss Mr. Potatoehead.

I wonder if Andrew would have been walking by now. I know he would have been giggling his head off and trying to keep up with his brothers. He always looked at them in awe. I wonder fairly often right now what he would look like and be like if he were still with us.

It's not too hard right now. And again, he wasn't home with us when we rang in 2011. I was at the hospital with him on New Year's last year. I got an extended visit that day thanks to daddy letting me go up there to be with the special bundle.

My family had met him for the first time the day after Christmas or the week after. I don't remember which. So tiny. So precious.

And so tomorrow, will end the year where we brought him home, enjoyed the four and half months we had with him, said good-bye to him, bought my van, celebrated Alex's first day of school, bought our house, got our puppy and have begun walking the path we are supposed to walk.

Such joy and such pain. And God was with us through it all. God loved us through it all. Thank You for being so faithful and strong Lord.

Andrew at 3 weeks of age. He was almost 10 pounds here.