Second Prenatal Visit - Another Reminderof Andrew

I'm not sure about these prenatal visits. I left work to head to my second prenatal visit and found my heart quickly sinking. I should be a bit excited. Or a bit bored since all they do is listen for the heartbeat, measure your belly and take your vitals.

And there's always the joyful pee in the cup fun. Last month was the first time they ever found anything and it got me a strong dose of antibiotics and the answer to why I felt so extra exhausted all the time. All I did was sleep for two weekends in a  row and then half a weekend the weekend after the 10 days of having the antibiotics in my system. I hope this time yields the same boring results of normal.

So, as last month, I drove there crying. Thinking of the visits I did like this for Andrew's pregnancy. I checked in at the doctor's office, got my vitals taken and found myself overcome with emotion again. I felt so alone.

I have to decide whether I will have another C-section or a natural delivery by 20 weeks. That's 7 weeks away. And the thought makes me VERY uncomfortable. It was such a hard recovery. Much harder than its alternative.

All was fine except that the baby seemed to hide in the far recesses of my womb. My gosh! The doctor had quite a time finding the heartbeat. At first I was fine knowing that it can take a bit of time. But then he kept pushing in harder and digging around trying to find the baby. My heart started to drop. And I began to grow concerned. I became frightened that the baby didn't have a heartbeat anymore. That maybe this one was gone too as the doctor kept moving the instrument around trying to find the heartbeat.

But finally he found the heartbeat just before I was going to start balling thinking I had lost another child. And that thought just about killed me.