Does Andrew Think that Lynn Replaced Him?

The Time: Bedtime
The Place: Alex's room
The Setting: The final tucking in of bed and the giving of kisses and hugs

Alex was the last of my boys that I tucked in tonight. Lately, he has only wanted daddy to read from the Chronicles of Narnia series. So Mark was done and had rejoined Lynn in the dining room to give her a bottle. I had just gotten off the phone with my mom doing a check-in, hello call since she went to the ER yesterday and to let her and my dad join in on the bedtime stories I read with Ryan.

I kissed Alex on the forehead, told him I loved him and turned to leave when he asked me a question.

"Mom, when are you going to have another baby?"

That caught my attention. Alex thinks we should have 5 or 6 more kids. A thought that is kind of amusing and also unsettling. It's not going to happen.

"Well sweetheart," I said. "We're not planning on having any more."

He had turned over in his bed by now and was looking at me with a quizzical look. "Why not?"

"Because we've had 6 children. Well, I have given birth to 5 of you and when I carried Lynn, it was very hard on mommy."

I know he doesn't understand all that's involved in pregnancy.

"You mean there are 4 of us now." He said.

"Yes there are."

"The other two are dead."

He said it so definitely. With such finality and bluntness. I swallowed wondering where this conversation will go.

"Remember," I thought to myself. "They said Alex would be like this. Straight to the point. Seemingly blunt."

"One is a girl. The other is Andrew."

"Yes." I responded while wondering where this conversation was going to end up going and how would I handle it.

"Too bad he's not here with us." Alex said.

I kept looking him in the eye hoping that my face showed love and acceptance.

 "And he can see us and is happy that Lynn has joined us."

"You mean he's happy. I thought he would be sad thinking that we had Lynn to replace him."

"Interesting thought." I said. "But no. He's very happy for us and know that Lynn does not replace him. Nothing could ever replace him."

"Hmm." he responded.

"Do you think we had Lynn to replace Andrew?" Alex had an odd look on his face like I had just said something peculiar.

"No."

He found that question so absurd that he turned his back to me and said good night.

Whew! That was an easier round of Andrew talk to handle.