Thoughts of Andrew Are Close By

It's always good to talk with friends who are special to you. Some people just have a way of lifting your spirits and adding that extra something to a day . . . How blessed friendship is.

I had a conversation today with two colleagues. A bit of back and forth, some joking around and swapping of fun stories about kids. (Obviously, we're all parents.) Of course, Lynn came up as a topic of  discussion. I have to hold myself back not to talk about her too much. I'm just too excited about having a girl - finally. I can't believe how happy I am that I have a daughter! I love all of my children very much and consider each one to be so very dear and special in their own ways. Andrew and Lynn are no exception to this.

And, as usual, thoughts of Andrew are close by. If I am speaking with someone who doesn't know about Andrew, I can't seem to stop from having the thought cross my mind that that person has no idea that we lost a child a year and a half ago. It's kind of annoying to me. Granted it is brief but I wonder if someday they'll stop.

Now, if the person does know, the thought doesn't really occur unless I am already struggling with something pertaining to Andrew's death.

So I had one person I was speaking with that knows about Andrew while the other has no idea. Well, unless the one told the other without my knowledge. But there's probably no reason for that to happen. So that inner struggle was going on. Not in any debilitating way or anything. Nothing emotional going on. The thought just came to me as described above as a thought. Like I said, somewhat annoying for me.

Grief.

Loss.

Andrew.

And life goes on.