Thinking of Andrew

Lynn is 2 1/2 months old now.

People have started commenting that she is smiling and so attentive and alert. She is extremely observant. She has been curious and attentive from day one. And her smile, she kept secret from everyone except her father and I for a month and a half.

She began grabbing at my shirt and arms since she was about a month old as well. A little tug that meant so good to feel.

And most recently she has begun to reach out for objects. In fact, I think that last night while I was cheering her on and encouraging her in her pursuit of trying to touch her little star hanging down in front of her that she put her hand in front of her eyes. And,at this moment, her eyes got all big like she had just realized she had a hand. I giggled, kissed her on the forehead and talked to her about her hand. Boy was she amazed. It was so delightful.

She is doing so well and growing so quickly. I swear in a week from one bath to the next, she has grown an inch. And she is getting plump as is custom for infants.

In the midst of this great joy and my extreme pride in my daughter, it is hard not to think of Andrew.

I have noticed before, with other babies,  how behind Andrew was in his development after all. A fact I was blind to when he was alive due to my silly pride and great love for him. At three months he began to smile. He began to tug on my shirt and arms around that time as well.

I was so blind.

In his own darling way, he did great things in his little life. And he may have been behind in his development but I am still so proud of him. I am just amazed as I realize this more and more with each day that Lynn grows and learns so much. But, no matter him being behind or ahead or on schedule in one area or another, I will always cherish him and his memory. That will never change.
I am his mother. And he was my little special.