It Shouldn't Be This Way

It was really weird picking out Andrew's last outfit he would ever wear. An outfit he would never be aware that he had worn it.

But I remember being so upset that the outfit we picked out for him didn't fit. Not necessarily because of the outfit. It disturbed me that he was naked. Undressed. Laying on a cold metal slab until his hand-carved casket arrived from the monastery in Dubuque.

When we dropped off our final selection, chose more out of desperation of having to find something than something we really wanted, the coordinator escorted us to a room where we could be alone. We were totally wiped out. We had spent 2 - 3 hours shopping. Had spent some money on something that was alright but I wished would have been more "him".

At least he would be dressed now.

We just sat there and didn't say a word. Feeling numb. Feeling exhausted. Feeling that it shouldn't be this way.

It shouldn't be this way.