Looking Forward to Little Bundle Girl

I'm having a girl. I am having a girl!

I have been deeply blessed by showers at my work and at church. Oh did us ladies have so much ewing and awing over the adorable little girl outfits and ruffles and bows. One lady even said that God told her to buy this gorgeous all white formal dress for our little bundle. How adorable! And the little tiny dress shoes she has received just fuel the fire.

We have all kinds of things in preparation for her arrival and her big brothers are getting so excited as they see the pink and diapers increase.

I wonder what she will be like. Hopefully she'll get some of her father's hair since mine is so thin it hardly does anything. She doesn't really kick. She more wiggles around inside and tickles me. Of course, she stretches on occasion and that really creates some interesting sensations as the organs move out of the way. And I love the feeling of her inside me! If only I wasn't so huge and exhausted all the time. It's so hard to walk. But it's not time yet for her to come.

And I look forward to the special bonding time we'll have in the hospital alone together. It won't be quite as intense and long as it was with Andrew but it will still be nice.

Mark confided in me that he is afraid I will die during this childbirth. I am hoping to have a VBAC but know there is a chance my uterus can rupture due to the C-section scar my uterus bears from Andrew's birth. Knowing that I can have no assistance with this birth, unlike the others, due to this scar and the increased risk any "assistance" would place on my life and the baby's, I plan on doing this natural. No pain medicine. This scares Mark. But Mark doesn't like being in the delivery room anyway. He is in there because he knows his attendance is mandatory since I say it is. He knows he'd sleep on the couch for months or be asked to move into his own room.

Anyway, upon being so open, I thanked him for seeking to be real and open with me. But promptly added that he needed to share those thoughts with someone else. This is a bit scary as is, even with the experience I have with childbirth and even one that was natural. Thankfully he has complied with my request and I pray every night that the birth will go well without complications and progress smoothly.

And then I think about getting to see her for the first time and hold her and comfort her after her shocking entrance into the cold, bright world. Seeing her little face get that look like, wait, I know that smell and I know that voice and snuggle down into my breast and be comforted by my presence. How great is that!!!!! Gosh will that be a beautiful moment to experience again.

And then we'll bring her home and, oh my gosh, will it be great to be together as a family and have the boys get to know their little sister as we get to know her.

Then I will tell her some more about Andrew and show her pictures and snuggle with her in his special blanket I keep by my bedside as she learns about him.