The Cycle of One Most Dear - a poem

Andrew,

How sad it is that your fall and winter came so soon little special. This week I think of you more concretely than I have in a few weeks. I guess this may be because the rhythm of my workload matches what I was doing the week you died. So it’s hard to concentrate. It’s a struggle to stay focused. And there are some very dear friends that I wish I could call and talk to. Friends, from other the years, that I hold dear in my heart but am unable to contact for different reasons. So that amplifies the sorrow and the missing and the pain. Because I’m missing them too right now.

I still love you sweetie. I will always love you!

Someday I'll explain the following. It's just what's on the surface right now.


The Cycle of One Most Dear
 By kk

This was the cycle of one most dear
This was the course of a life
This was the route of a dearest son
This was his journey through

How miraculous his springtime was
How sudden came his summer
How tragically his fall arrived
Too soon approached his winter

He said his death was lesser pain
He shared the anguish deep
He told of trials of his life
Intense times of greater grief

How sad his fall arrived abrupt
How sudden winter ensued
How tragic was his loss to us
Too soon his life was loosed

This was his course the path he chose
This was his decision free
This was his act of love to us
This was his selfless deed

Great love he gave with just his eyes
Great joy words can’t convey
Great selflessness displayed to us
Our boy so proud are we

The Things that Catch Me Now

Our oldest is enjoying Superhero Camp at grandma's church this week. My husband went to pick him up today and found him reading a book. Now Samuel an is an avid reader so this is a common sight these days. His hunger for reading almost matches his incessant need for talking and humming.

So as I understand, Mark walked up to Samuel and he looked up and said with emotion, "I only got to read Andrew this one book when he was alive. And I'll never get to read him another."

Immediately Mark's heart was gripped with the longing of our son for his deceased brother. As Mark relayed the story to me, it gripped my heart as well.

The Little Things That Catch Me Now
by Kristin Knoke

There are so many things that catch me now that Andrew's gone away.
Things I never thought about and things that rain each day.
They're things of every day in life and things that passed me by.
Some certain things I smiled at and even would reply.

So the oddest things do catch me now that Andrew's gone away.
Things I wouldn't talk about and things that make me stray.
They're things that sometimes hid inside and things that made me win.
Some certain things would shout out hi and draw me to my kin.

So many things do catch me now that Andrew's gone away.
Things that didn't stand out much and now cause me to pray.
They're things that give me pause in life and now point to this hole.
These things once never grabbed my eye but now they grab my soul.

We Have Love - A Poem for Andrew

We Have Love

By Kristin Knoke

My forehead to yours,

My lips to your temple,

My head to you peeking, we feel love.

My body to yours,

My finger to your hand,

My voice to you cooing, we speak love.

My eyes to yours,

My hand to your belly,

My cheek to you smiling, we give love.

My brow to yours,

My kiss to your fingers,

My tears to you dying, we send love.

My mind to yours,

My heart to your heart,

My longing to you living, we have love.

We always have love.