Since Andrew Died . . .

It's a busy week at work. A huge proposal to write. A report to get off to a client. Another report to write for another client. The open house to prepare for. I haven't been able to be at home as much as I would like to. And my little girl still acts like she doesn't know me when I get home. How sad that is to me.

I saw a dear friend today. Totally unplanned and, as always, a very pleasant surprise. A very welcome surprise. Like usual, it lifted my spirits and left me with a huge smile. It was like a breath of fresh air. This friend is one of the the people that I treasure in my life. Someone that means a lot to me. Gosh it was so nice.

We chatted for a short time, joked around like we usually do, caught up a little bit and then had to get to other commitments. Of course, Lynn came up and how I am saddened to be away from her during the day. Hopefully we'll be able to get together soon and take more time to catch up more appropriately.

Since Andrew died, I have found that I want to be more relational. More intentional. Make more out of life than I did before. Especially with Lynn, my family and even with this friend I saw today. I really try to make the short amount of time that I can have with her now when I'm off count. Just like I want my time with my friends and family to count more. That's a bit difficult for me in some ways. I am much more task-oriented than people-oriented. Although if I know I am respected and cared for by someone, then it's easier for me to be more relational with that person. And if I click with someone, and become comfortable with someone, then that ability is only amplified. At that point I will be extremely loyal to that person and can be very warm and caring.

It's just something I have to keep working on in myself. To be more warm to others and social as I interact in life. And thanks to Andrew, that has been boosted on a bit more.

Since Andrew died, a few other things have changed in me too. How I try to mother. How I try to be. Who I try to be.

May God give me the ability to become who I am supposed to become in Him.