Spirits are High

This week has been a pretty good week. I imagine part of it is due to the fact that I ended up starting the antidepressants and giving up nursing Lynn. While a sad reality, it is for the best. The low times were coming on so strong and were going deeper and deeper into a dark place that one should not have to travel, that I knew it was better for Lynn to have her mother than not to. We got to have some time bonding in that very special way and she got the benefits to the added nutrients in the breastmilk for a few weeks. And now I seem to have joined the land of the living. Hopefully in 6 months, I can wean off of them and be fine.

It's also been a good week because I've gotten to show Lynn off to some of the people that I wanted to have meet her the most. Some of the most dear to me have already met her but there were just a few more and one in particular that had yet to make her acquaintance. And now there's only my adopted older brother, Terry, and a very special woman that is a precious friend to me, Bonita, among extended family left to have the opportunity.

My boss left a meeting with a big client to meet her and he held her in a way that I said to me he wasn't the most comfortable having her in his arms. I told him it was good grandpa practice for him to which he chuckled and said that it would be awhile before that would come.

Pat, another coworker I just love working with, held her close and gave her kisses. Pat is just great!

Emlyn and I hung out at her desk while Lynn scarfed down a bottle and gave out a good burpie.

And then there was just trying to catch one of my dearest friends. It was hit and miss but after insisting that his schedule would be clear for staying in town until the end of this week, I made sure to make a special, quick trip into town to have the two meet. And she gave him the honor of opening her eyes as he held her securely showing off how he's an experienced father. Few have gotten the privilege yet mostly due to her being at a sleepy time when she's met most everyone. I was so glad and my heart was full. It was great! I really wanted to give him a big hug but decided not to this time.

And now, at the end of the week, Mark took off for a few days at the House of Prayer in Kansas City to recharge. I didn't get much sleep last night since my antidepressant has a side effect in of keeping me awake. So I have to take medicine to be able to sleep. Although since it also conks me out so well for the first few hours I didn't dare take it to make sure that I would hear Lynn awaken for her bottles at night. I do have time to recover from an all nighter and her needs are the most important.

Emlyn came over to do the "late shift" with me last night. We talked until the 3 am bottle. I wasn't going to sleep anyway and she seemed to need an ear. I was also loving the girl talk myself and talking about writing some more with someone who is in the same place as I am. We're sharing what we learn with each other and what we write. Anyway, I got to sleep after the 5 am bottle. My body was finally tired enough to overcome the antidepressant it seemed but only for the next 4 hours. Now I'm incapable of sleeping again since I did have to take my next dose of my medicine. So today hurts a bit but my spirits are high because Lynn has gotten to meet almost everyone that is important to me.

If only I could have done this with Andrew while he was alive instead of at his funeral and visitation and through this blog.