A Cry for My Boys

So I'm reading the story of what happened with the Chapmans. Steven Curtis Chapman is a singer I greatly respect and I love his music. So when I heard of what happened with their daughter 4 years ago, it touched me. I felt so sad for them. How tragic that such an unpremeditated thing like backing into a driveway had such a devastating effect. I wondered what happened and felt such empathy for them. What an awful hardship to walk through. What a tragic loss. How would that son cope with this? How would the family cope? And now I am getting to find out.

Being a fan of this singer, one of my favorite performers, it's interesting to learn the inner workings of his family and life. I saw him perform in 2000 or 2001. It was a great evening and he even shared a powerpoint of his family. He talked to us as though we were good friends. He was humble. Real and a real performer. This is something I notice being a performer myself. When someone does it well and isn't about how awesome they are, I appreciate their talent even more. When they enjoy it and don't get caught up in being on the stage, it's a real treat. Anyway, how they dealt with it. What has it been like for them? And is it similar to the path we have walked?

And now I am learning that yes, there are other similarities that I have not found with the other mothers. Like how do you help your surviving children cope with the pain and grief. Mary Beth speaks of how she would cry out to God to be with her son who was involved. How she would cry out for Stevey Joy to be healed of the pain she had for seeing her sister die. I have done the same thing.

It concerns me how this will affect my boys. And what damage has been done? And I hope that God does a miracle in them so that they can become all that they should be. That this should serve only to strengthen them and give them a story that will point others to God in some way. In a way that we can't necessarily understand right now.

One of the Chapman sons said at the Memorial Service that it's like God is an abstract painter. When you are right next to the painting you can't see the picture He's painting. You have to take many steps back because His canvas is so huge. And then, when you've taken a lot of steps back, you can begin to see the beautiful work of art He is making. And like them, we are right now still pretty close to the canvas so we can't make out what's being painted yet.  We've taken some steps back but it still isn't necessarily clear to us what He's putting on that canvas.

I have haven't finished the book but I know I can pray. I knew that and have done it since before I read this book. And I can let them know that I am here to speak with them whenever they want to talk about it. But mostly, I just keep reassuring them that I love them no matter what. They have never had to do anything to earn my love. They are my sons and they have my love just from that. But I am curious what the last pages will hold as far as their son, Will, and their daughter, Stevey Joy, are concerned.

Oh God, you can turn all the bad into good for those who love you and are called according to Your purposes. We need for You to do that in the boys. In Your mercy, please protect them from the evil that this can become in their lives and make it a good thing that shows Your glory.